Written April 29, 2020 · Republished six years later, and it still holds true.

Happiness… What is happiness? When are you happy? How do you become happy?

These are simple questions, yet some of the hardest to answer.

People who take the time to reflect on life often find themselves asking these questions.

I spent years chasing happiness too. From people, material things, and temporary situations. None of it worked. Somehow, I always found myself back at square one.

Then I asked myself:

  • What makes me happy?
  • Am I happy with my life right now?
  • Am I happy with who I am?
  • Am I happy with the people around me?
  • Am I happy with my choices?

I believe our choices shape our happiness. And yes, happiness is a state of mind.

Picture this: your mind is like a garden. It needs nurturing and care every single day.

What does that mean?

It means making choices that help you grow. It means feeding your mind with things that bring positivity.

Sometimes, all we need is to make better choices.

But then you ask: how do I know what the right choice is?

Choices often involve risk. But learning when to take that risk matters.

For a long time, I didn’t know what truly made me happy, so I made poor choices. Worse, I stayed unhappy for years.

But the moment I realized I didn’t want my life to go to waste, I started paying attention to the things that always felt natural to me. The things I loved even as a child.

We all have them.

In my case:

  • I love art and painting
  • I love music
  • I love nature
  • I love connecting with people and understanding them

These things make me feel whole.

And by nurturing them consistently, I slowly developed a healthier state of mind.

To me, that is happiness. Being able to express your soul and truly live while being alive.

Not everyone realizes this, which is why many people slowly become unhappy. They forget the things that genuinely bring them joy and settle instead for temporary comforts.

Why do we cancel meetings to attend our niece’s christening or spend time at family gatherings?

Because relationships matter.

The people we love, our families, childhood friends, and the people who shaped us contribute to our values, memories, and beliefs. Being with them reminds us who we are.

Money can make you happy, but usually only for a while.

If money alone created happiness, then why are so many wealthy people unhappy? Why do friends with successful careers still reach out during their loneliest nights, simply looking for someone to listen?

Because sometimes what people truly want is connection.

And I feel sad for them. I hope they find what they are looking for, or realize that perhaps happiness has been closer than they thought all along.

I always tell my friends: love yourself.

And what I mean by that is: nurture yourself. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to reach your greatest potential.

Because when you are genuinely happy, something changes.

You begin to appreciate life more. You notice the small things. You start seeing the details that make life worthwhile.

Maybe happiness was never about finding more. Maybe it was simply about returning to yourself.